No rainbow unicorns at my son's birthday party

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These days, my eldest son is six and is mad keen on football.

Every recess at school involves a kick-around. When he has been a very good boy, I allow him to buy some EPL (English Premier League) stickers from 7-Eleven.

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A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Sunday Times on September 23, 2018, with the headline No rainbow unicorns at my son's birthday party. Subscribe